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From Boys to Gentlemen. How to ensure your son brings home a lady, not a tramp.

There are many things I wish to teach my son, but one to the most important will be how to treat a lady. By lady, I mean a woman who commands a certain amount of respect from herself and those around her. A lady is what I want my son to bring home one day and these are just a few of the things I think will help ensure that he does.

1. Listen. All a lady needs in the beginning is for you to listen. Hearing what she is saying is not good enough, you need to to listen to what she’s saying and how she’s saying it. Look her in the eye as she speaks. Disagree politely and never exclude her from a conversation. You are strong but unfailingly polite and considerate.

2. For any lady in your company, young or old. Get or pour her drink, open the door for her, help her in and out of her coat, pull out her chair, get the car if its raining, walk on the road side of the pavement, attempt to get the tab twice and no more. Your friends may laugh at you at first but don’t let that deter you because a few years down the line, they will be gawking at the lady on your arm and wondering how on earth you did it.

3. Stand up to greet parents. If you are in someone’s house, whether you know the owners or not, find them, greet them or introduce yourself and thank them for having you. I can guarantee that you will probably be the only one at the party who does this but I promise you that that they will remember you and your manners, whether you are dating their daughter or not.

4. I will teach you to dance, the old way and the new. When it’s time to dance, you need to be confident in the way you move and the way you hold her. No son of mine will take to the dance floor and make an arse of himself.

5. Never smother a lady, rather keep her on her toes than sweep her off her feet. A compliment, when meant, can make a lady’s heart swell. If you do it too often, it loses its effect.

6. When you go in for a kiss, lift her chin or cradle her head, just like in the movies. Im not going to explain this one, just do it, you won’t be sorry.

7. When it comes to sex and her body, think on this metaphor. She can invite you to captain her ship, to navigate and even command but remember, it’s her ship and she is the sea. Above all, no matter what she says, wear a condom!

8. You will never find true love with out putting your heart on the line. You cannot know love fully until your heart has been broken, it will happen and when it does, I will be there to pick up the pieces. If she breaks it a second time, she is solely to blame. If she breaks it a third time, the fault is yours.

9. Stay away from ladies who talk about other people and little else. They are far more trouble than they are worth and still have too much to learn about themselves to appreciate a gentleman such as yourself.

10. Have the courage to admit when you are wrong and never be too proud to say sorry.

11. If you need to end it, there are three major rules. Do so in person, be honest but considerate, keep your distance.

12. In her eyes, how you treat your mother says a whole heap about what kind of man you are.

Any feedback or further suggestions?

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